Warning – listen to your priest

A local priest and a bishop stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, ‘The End is Near! Turn yourself around now – before it’s too late!’ They held up the sign as a car approached.

‘Leave us alone, you religious nuts!’ yelled the driver as he sped by. A moment later, from around the curve, they heard a big splash. ‘Do you think,’ ventured the priest, ‘we should just put up a sign that says “bridge down” instead?’


In a little girl’s Christmas drawing, two of the camels were approaching the inn, over which was pictured a huge star. The third camel and its rider were going directly away from it. ‘Why is the third man going in a different direction?’ her mother asked. She replied, ‘Oh, he’s looking for a place to park.’


Towards Christmas with a quote!

Take C-H-R-I-S-T out of Christmas and you’re left with a “miss.” – Anon

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. – Anon

Christmas is a race to which gives out first – your money or your feet. – Anon

At Christmas, play and make good cheer; for Christmas comes but once a year. – Thomas Tusser

Happiness is more than a grin on one’s face, it is the glory in one’s heart. – R. Parlette

Christ veiled His deity but He did not void it. – Anon

The Son came out from the Father to help us to come out from the world; He descended to us to enable us to ascend to Him. – Anthony of Padua

Christ became what we are that He might make us what he is. – Athanasius

In Jesus Christ heaven meets earth and earth ascends to heaven. – Anon

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

Accept the Gift that God has given us – keep the church relevant and up to date or go the way of the dinosaur!!

Set the prisoner free – how?

We are called to care for all – that includes the prisoner – to set the prisoner free.  There are ways to do that – not by opening the door and throwing away the key!!

Imagine that you’ve just been released from prison. You struggle to read and you don’t have any qualifications. You’ve been out for a week and have spent that time trying to find a job. But no one is interested: not only do you have a criminal record but you can’t even confidently read labels on boxes or fill in a form.

The benefit forms are too tricky for you to fill in and with no job you can’t afford food or accommodation. Without support from family or friends, you find yourself slipping into your old ways and it’s not long before you’re back inside…

This is why SPCK, the largest independent Christian publisher in the UK, runs a project called Diffusion, which aims to break the cycle of reoffending by publishing a series of easy-to-read and inspiring books that are supplied freely to prison reading groups. The books include lots of questions for discussion and are read in a group led by a prison chaplain, Prison Fellowship volunteer or librarian.

As well as improving reading confidence, the books are used to help inmates examine their relationships, emotions, values and hopes for the future in a non-threatening way.

As one prisoner at HMP Lewes said, ‘This is the first book I’ve read fully in over a decade… It made me think about my own actions more and realise they were wrong.’

Another man at HMP Channings Wood commented, ‘The story helped me to reflect on my poor choices which got me back inside. It stoked a fire inside me to get out of prison and stay out.’

Please visit www.diffusionbooks.org.uk to find out more about the project and to make a donation.


I have just read this on the Fochabers Surgery Website – please pass the information on as widely as you can.    Do read their website – it is full of interesting and useful information.

Urgent Warning

We have just been informed that one of our patients has recently had a cold-call, at around 21:30 during an evening, from someone claiming to be from our practice – and trying to gain entry into their house.  The patient called the Police who in turn advised that our practice should be informed.

We will never cold call

Our hours of service are from 08:30 – 18:00 Mon – Fri.  Patients will always be contacted in the first instance if we are going to call.  If you are in any doubt about the identification of anyone claiming to be from the practice you should call the police.    Please pass this message on to as many as possible.

The surgery website is: www.fochabersmedicalpractice.co.uk